Our new midfielder cost ten million.
I call him our wonder player.
How come?
Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music?
"Because he broke the record."
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
Vote:
An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker.
The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!"
He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one.
Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!"
Concerned, his partner turns to him
"What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"
A man walks into a bar with a dog.
The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man.
"This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender.
"If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks.
"The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man.
"I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
I play the worlds most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.
A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report.
"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!"
"OK, that's it, guys," Roger said.
"This is positively the last deal."
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college?
A: A Basketball player.
Vote:
Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner?
A: A 100 mph nigger eater.
Vote:
Q. What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A. The PGA tour
Vote:
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
Vote: