Joke #2620

"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy." Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."

Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health? A: A baseball bat.

Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"

A famous boxer must be operated by appendicitis. From the operation room the doctor gets out holding himself to the walls with a bruised eye and says: A can’t do this anymore! I try to anesthetize him, I count until 9 and he gets up and starts punching me...

A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.

He was a colourful boxer. Black and blue all over.

Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"

Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.

Three heavyweight men; an American, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building. The American jumped off and shouted "God save America!" The English man jumped off and shouted "God Save The Queen!" The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted "God save the person who I land on!''

Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’