Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully again.
If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Let’s try this another way.
If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?”
Boy: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good.
Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?”
Boy: “Seven!”
Teacher: “How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?”
Boy: “I’ve already got one rabbit at home now!”
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Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once.
How much is six plus four?"
Class: "At once!"
Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
"The female hostel will be prohibited for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $100.
Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $200.
Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?
Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.
Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?
Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Class: "Brotherly love."
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
Christy: I'd climb a tree.
Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?
Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim.
Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?
Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
“No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
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Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"
Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
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