My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
One step forward, 12 floors down.
In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Q: How does every black joke start? A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.