In a monastery senior sister announces to other sisters: I have a good and a bad news for you. The good one is that they have broughts to use a lot of carrots. All the sisters start whistling happily. But one of them asks: What are the bad news? Carrots came grated.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!