Joke #2780

Sex without condoms is magical... A baby appears and father disappears.
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has 69.82 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar. One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
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Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
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One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
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has 57.29 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, marriage, sex
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
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has 82.13 % from 5894 votes. More jokes about: sex
An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
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has 66.96 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, old people, romantic, sex
How do you know when your cat’s finished cleaning himself? He’s smoking a cigarette.
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: sex
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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has 67.62 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
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has 74.94 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, marriage, sex, wife
I could never fight a gay guy. I don't know how to start. "I'm gonna beat your ass... I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
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has 78.75 % from 1152 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
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has 70.83 % from 503 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, sex