Joke #2815

Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
Vote: has 34.57 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, prison
A man was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to him, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!" The scared the man pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!" The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!" HE says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!" The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the the man's head and says, Alright, now give me a bl*wjob!" "Anything!" cries Banta, "Just don't shoot!" The man starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited, he drops the gun. Man sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! Somebody might walk in!"
Vote: has 83.63 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread.
Vote: has 86.49 % from 1092 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, alcohol
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer
Vote: has 62.43 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, cop
Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
Vote: has 29.17 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
Vote: has 72.55 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women, masturbation, money
One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. The hiker ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, "What happened to you?" The tied up man began to tell him, "I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he held me up. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree." The hiker unzipped his fly and said, "Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?"
Vote: has 74.05 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in s*x. Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working. So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy. "Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself. That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food. Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone. Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" "No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks. "I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?" "That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you. Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty. "
Vote: has 82.25 % from 360 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch. "Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
Vote: has 65.14 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor