Joke #2819

The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”

Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams. Son: No father I'll score 100% marks. Father: Why are you kidding? Son: Who started?

Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."

Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.

Why did the teacher put the lights on? Because the class was so dim!

John: Knock, knock. Justin: Who’s there? John: Gladys. Justin: Gladys, who? John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

A student visits the principal's office The principal asks: "What is your name?" The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david." The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?" Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."

Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".

A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”

Student: "Sir, can I ask a question?" Teacher: "Yes!" Student: "How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?" Teacher: "I don't know." Student: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!" Teacher: "Ok, ask." Student: "How to put a donkey inside the fridge?" Teacher: "It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in." Student: "No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in." Teacher: "Ooh...ok!!" Student: "Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?" Teacher: "The lion of course! Because it wud eat all the animals." Student: "No sir, it is the donkey becoz it's still inside the fridge." Teacher: "Are you kidding me?" Student: "No sir, 1 last question." Teacher: "Ok!" Student: "If there's a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you?" Teacher: "There's no way, I would need a boat to cross." Student: "No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion's birthday party..." Teacher: "I have my own question, if all the students come to school except one person, who is the person..." Student: "No idea sir..." Teacher: "It's you because you are on two weeks suspension."