Joke #2828

You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.

I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.

Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!

If you have a grief nobody feels, If you have a pain nobody feels. If your heart is broken nobody feels, but if you fart all will understand.

How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"

Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.

Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before eating? No it's not, if you don't eat too often..

Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift." Doctor: "Tell her to come in." Romi: "I cannot" Doctor: "Why so?" Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."