I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
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A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.
"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."
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In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
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What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
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