Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
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What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
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A lawn moo-er.
Q: Why does a dog lick himself?
A: He can't make a fist.
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How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof!
I got a cat the other day.
I had to swerve, but I got it.
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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What does a squid sheriff form?
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Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.
The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber.
The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious.
The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."