The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.