Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.