Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon. After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon. It was a tough choice...