What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
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There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole.
They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.
Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"
Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"
Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles.
Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
How did the calf's final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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