How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong. Why? Because a virus does something.
A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates. The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to. ‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary. ‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.