Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.