What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breath!!!!
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Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half."
Me: [visibly confused]
Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?"
"The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: Homework!
What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
6 year old kid looking at Mom's ID card.
Sex: F
He laughs.
Mom: "Whats so funny?"
Kid: "I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it."
Husband died laughing.
Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
YOUR BIKE!
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