Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do.
Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.
What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw? A: Outlaws are wanted.
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.