What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
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Why was cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life.
After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper.
A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately.
On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy.
When she entered the room she stood steal...
She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room.
"But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked.
"Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face?
A: It will kick off your ladder…
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?"
A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper?
A Brontosnorus.
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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What job do rabbits at hotels have?
Bellhop.