Joke #3099

Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: kids

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A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. “Throw out more!” shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. “More!” he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control. He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who’s crying. They ask him why he’s crying and he says “A pistol hit me on the head!” They drive more and meet another boy who’s crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, “A rifle hit me on the head!” They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who’s laughing hysterically. They ask him, “Kid, what’s so funny?” The boy replies, “I sneezed and a house blew up!”
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has 81.49 % from 463 votes. More jokes about: kids, military
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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has 73.29 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school
What kind of rocks do young geologists play with? Marbles.
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: kids
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
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has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, kids
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie? They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: kids, priest
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
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has 37.83 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, military