Joke #3118

Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child? A: Caps and robbers
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: dentist, game, kids
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
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has 82.40 % from 1310 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, school, Thanksgiving
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: kids
A kid is walking down the street with a jar of money and dragging along a dead frog on a string. And he walks into a whorehouse. He sets the jar of money on the counter and proclaims to a woman in the lobby "I want to have sex with the dirtiest, nastiest woman you have here." She glares at him and replies "get outta here. you're too young to be here." The kid retorts, pointing at the jar and says "look, lady- I'm paid. Let me do what I want." She agrees, and points him towards a door down the hall. "Meet Evelynn, she's a veteran." He does the deed and walks out of the room, still zipping up. The lady in the lobby asks him if he realizes the consequences of his actions. He replies, "Yes. I came here hoping for an STD, and I've gotten what I wanted." Confused, she asks him why. He replies, "My mom and dad are on vacation. When I get home, the babysitter is going to have sex with me. That's what she's into. She's going to get an STD. When mom and dad get home, mom will go to the grocery store and dad will have sex with the babysitter. He will have an STD. Once mom gets home, she will have sex with dad and SHE will get an STD. When dad leaves for work in the morning, mom is going to have sex with the Mailman... and HE's the motherfucker who ran over my frog."
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has 81.42 % from 473 votes. More jokes about: kids
When I was born, everyone was so happy. Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids
I was walking by a car filled with black kids, and I heard a *click* as they locked the doors. I felt like such a bad-ass until I realized it was my car.
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has 75.74 % from 1651 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar? A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
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has 33.50 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, kids, travel
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
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has 56.43 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher