There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court.
The judge says, "do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no!
he beats me!".
The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?" "no! she beats me too!".
So the judge says, "who do you want to live with then?"
The kid says, "The Cleveland Browns...they can't beat anybody!"
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Who was the last person to box Rocky Marciano?
His undertaker.
Golf
A true story, according to the LA Times.....
Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"
Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
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Son: "What's love juice daddy?"
Me: "It's what 2 people make when they're having exciting sex. Anyway? What are you watching?"
Son: "Wimbledon."
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen.
The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy."
Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."
You know who's mad at Kobe?
Every other player in the NBA.
You know why?
Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring.
Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum.
Cause you know how women are, man.
Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"