Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it!
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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "How many can you afford?"
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Q: How do pirates make their money?
A: By hook or by crook!
Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
He was so poor he didn’t even get a yo-yo for Christmas.
His parents could only afford a yo.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild?
A fifty-dollar bill.
Hey, you wanna do a 68?
You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Patient: "Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine."
The doctor was very much pleased.
He asked: "Did it really help you?"
Patient: "It helped me wonderfully."
Doctor: "How many bottled did you find it necessary to take?"
Patient: "I did not take any of it. My uncle took one bottle and I am his sole heir."