Joke #3191

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden he needed to go the bathroom. He yelled out "Miss Jones I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now Johnny that is NOT the proper word to use in the situation. The correct word you want is urinate. Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit then says " You're an eight but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"
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has 81.55 % from 340 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny

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Johny visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Lately I have a big problem with my memory." The psychiatrist asks Johny: "And how does it demonstrate concretely?" Johny: "What?"
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, little Johnny, memory
Johnny comes back home from school and tells his father, "Dad, tomorrow you are invited to a special parent meetings at school." "How much special?" "Well, just me, you, the director and two investigators from the FBI."
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has 79.62 % from 393 votes. More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny, school
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself
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has 73.52 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"
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has 84.36 % from 619 votes. More jokes about: age, beer, cop, dad, little Johnny
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.10 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
One day while Johnny's dad was just getting out of the shower Johnny looked down and said, "Dad what's that hanging between your legs?" "Oh Johnny that's my nerve and your's will be this big one of these days", replies Johnny's dad. Anyway the next day while in school Johnny really had to pee so he raised his hand and said, "Miss I really need to go to the bathroom." "No, not yet there's someone gone", says his teacher. Not able to hold it in Johnny walks to the garbage can and starts to pee. Surprised to see her student peeing in a garbage can in front of the whole class the teacher says, "My Johnny you have some nerve!" Johnny says,"That's nothing you should see my fathers."
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has 85.58 % from 1229 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
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has 80.53 % from 523 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?" His father said, "I think so. What do you want me to write?" Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."
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has 81.58 % from 424 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny
One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that." The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us." "Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest." Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!"
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has 66.55 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: god, little Johnny, priest
Little Johnny walked into the house covered in filth. His mom asked, "Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?" Johnny replied, " I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are."
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has 55.58 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny