I sent my young son to pick up ice cream, I handed him some money and a coupon. Later he came home with the ice cream and the coupon. When I asked him what happened, he replied, “Mom I had enough money. I didn’t need the coupon.”
Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom? Mom: Why? my child.. Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
The best way to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. "What's all this about?" asked the consultant angrily. "It's the Tax Inspector in C ward," said one. "He's only got 2 days to live." "He had to be told." said the second doctor. "I know," said the first, "but I wanted to be the one to tell him!"
The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"