Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now.. I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC? Of course I do - it's Facebook...