Joke #3256

Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.

If you're scared of dying alone then become a bus driver.

Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..

While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."

Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.

Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.

A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."

Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!

Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world? A: Because everyone hates the black ones.