How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
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Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Vote:
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?"
"Because I'm Christine."
Genie: I will grant you two wishes.
Guy: two? It's always three, right?
Genie: look at your crotch.
Guy: Damn, that's a huge dick that I have now.
Genie: I've been doing this for centuries. I know my business.
After an accident...
1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first.
2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
A: Who knows it's never been done.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
The Perfect Man:
- wakes up at 5 am everyday
- exercises everyday
- makes his own bed
- cleans his room
- works sincerely
- does not touch alcohol
- helps in the kitchen
- does not indulge in night life
- always punctual
- prays daily
- hits the bed at 9 pm sharp
Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.