Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife.
See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!
So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man?
No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining.
She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!"
Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy"
Girl: "Why are you leaving?"