Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.