You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Don't ride the kiddie merrygo round when you are drunk, so get off.
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Vodka won't solve your problems but it's worth a shot.
Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain.
The bartender asks
the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain
around?
The man answered " HEY!! you ever tried pushing one of these
things!!"
Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here'.
I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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Why has Guinness got a white head on it?
So when you’re drunk you know which end to start on.
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse...
And his favorite drink is punch...
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A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!