How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
How to catch a polar bear: Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.