Can I dock my rocket at your space station?
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A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs.
"That is something you're never going to talk about again.
And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth."
Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared.
One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married.
On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there.
"No," he said, "it's got teeth."
"Silly goose!" she said.
She spread her legs wide for him to see.
"See? No teeth!"
"Well, I'm not surprised," the man said.
"Not with gums like that."
Teacher: "Can you tell the name of 3 great Kings who have brought happpines and peace into people lives?"
Student: " Smo-king", Drin-king and Fuc-king"
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Vote:
Ok, So superman was flying around on day after he had saved the world.
"Man that was hard work, Now I need to relax and f*ck a b*tch."
And so he went to the batcave.
He walked over to batman and asked, "You know any hoes that just want to have s*x?"
Batman looked and replied, "Well I heard superwomen wants to have s*x."
Superman looked at him and shook his head,"Well superwomen wants to have s*x with EVERYONE."
So intern he goes to robin, "Look robin I know your gay and all but do you know any hoes that want to f*ck."
Robin replies, "Well I heard superwomens pretty good."
Superman looks and says,"Well EVERYONE hears superwomen is good."
Pissed superman flies off.
While hes flying he passes over a field.
He looks down and sees superwomen completly naked with her legs spread.
Superman thinks to himself, "I can get in and out in faster than a speeding bullet."
So he flies down gets in and gets out faster than a bullet.
Back in the field superwomen looks around and says, "What the f*ck was that?"
and invisible man says, "I don't know but my ass hurts."
Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino?
A: One cup and you're up all night.
A guy went to a casino and lost all 10 000$.
Swearing for the situation he goes to a taxi driver and asks:
I have lost all my money, please give me a ride back home for free.
Fuck off, no money, no ride.
The next day the guys come to casino again and this time he successfully won all the money back and 10 000$ extra.
Hi goes out of the casino happily and sees five taxis, and the last car is the one, which refused to give a ride for free yesterday.
He goes to the first taxi and says:
Will you take me home for 100$
Sure!
But when you take me there you'll have to do the blow-job as well
Fuck off, man..
The guys goes to all next three cars and the story repeats.
Finally he goes to the last taxi driver, who refused to help a day ago, and says:
Will you take me home for 100$?
Sure!
Deal, but you have to pass through those other four taxi drivers very, very slowly.
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina.
In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out."
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50.
After a long pause, the couple agreed.
The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in.
After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
Vote:
If one drop of semen contains more life than a drop of blood, why don't vampires suck cock?
Oh wait... Twilight