When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.