Joke #3411

Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
Vote: has 36.37 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women, doctor, animal
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, bar, animal
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
Vote: has 64.80 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"
Vote: has 69.61 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish, bar, bartender
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, animal
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, time
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal