I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake? A: A jump rope!
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!