A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife.
He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water."
She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!"
He replied, "Thank God!"
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How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x.
The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Why do men like having sex with the lights on?
It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
Two men were talking:
First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?"
Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
16 and Pregnant.
15 and Fucking.
14 and Sucking.
13 and Licking.
12 and Fingering.
11 and Touching.
9 and Kissing.
8 and Wondering.
Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...
A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex.
‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman.
The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.