Joke #3518

Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Vote: has 37.60 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man and his wife were having sex one night in there bedroom. There little boy opens the door and says "Daddy what are you doing to mama?" Then the daddy says "Making you a little sister" And then the boy replies "Hell no do it doggy style I want a puppy."
Vote: has 78.96 % from 1467 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, sex
My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night. Woke up with a massive correction.
Vote: has 24.81 % from 136 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, doctor, wife
Vaginas are like weather. When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
Vote: has 78.66 % from 1343 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, weather
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote: has 36.82 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation. "Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man. "No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.
Vote: has 32.00 % from 115 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, doctor
Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea. What's that called?' The lady responded, 'It's a condom.' The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?' She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.' So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.' The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?' The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
Vote: has 71.61 % from 329 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, drug, animal
A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy." "OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?" Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby." His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 88.63 % from 2294 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, dog, baby, dad
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, sex, car
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, sex, religious