An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband.
When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties.
"Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!"
The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
My wife constantly complains that I never listen to her… Or something like that.
The man was looking for a way, over and over, for his wife so she can drive more carefully and he found it;
"Darling, if an accident happens, the police will record your real age!"
Two friends talking:
"What's up?"
"My wife left me for my best friend.."
"I thought I was your best friend..."
"Now he is."
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
The 10th grade teacher asks Jessica: "What part of the human body increases to 10 times it's normal size when excited?"
Jessica responds: "That's disgusting! I don't have to answer that question!"
So the teacher asks little Johnny, who responds: "That's easy...the pupil of the eye."
"That's correct, Johnny. Very good!"
And turning to Jessica, she says:
"I've three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!"
A wife returns late at night back home.
"Where have you been?" asks her husband.
"With a friend. But don't worry, there were no men."
One day later the husband returns back home late.
"Don't worry; I was also with a friend. And there were no men either…"
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Vote:
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"