Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection?
A: A whopper with cheese.
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote:
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?"
Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
Vote:
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
*Girl is crying*
Dad: Why you crying?
Girl: My boyfriend dumped me!
Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back
Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him!
Dad: I didn't
Girl: Where did you go?
Dad: To get you icecream :D
Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?!
Dad: So I could get it for free!
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
Vote:
My wife said wanted something shiny that went from 0-150 in under 2 seconds.
I gave her a scale.