What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from? Let Only Users Suffer.
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland? A: Nerdic.
What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it’s dimwit resistant.
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. ‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’ Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more