Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
What do computers do when they get hungry? They eat chips!
Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day? Cutting edge.
Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears. The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years. As a reward you can make a wish." Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East. The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?" Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us. The Genie says, "Let me see that map again."