Joke #3570

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
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Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute." He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up at the end of the bar and a woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?" He says"Quack quack Mummy." His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right." She says "What does a dog say?" He says "Woof woof Mummy." She says "Very good." She says "What does a cat say?" He says "Meow meow Mummy." She says "Yes that's right." Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go." His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?" The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says." Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, game, insulting
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off the carousel.
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has 73.98 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk, horse