Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.
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Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.
A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it."
The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She called the police immediately to report the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch.
The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder.
She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.
The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a blind policeman!"
Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head!
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel!
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?
A: So she could use it as a mirror.
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class?
A: your 25 year old mom.
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"