Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!
The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?" Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school. Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?" "Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day. “My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said. “Who is this speaking,” said the secretary. "This is my father!”
You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said, it was a peace of cake.
Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies? Moe: I don’t know. What? Joe: The ruler.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.