A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child.
The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.
So the jury asks the woman first.
She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me."
The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question.
The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
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Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Testicules.
Testicules who?
Pillow for penis .
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Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's going on and his mother tells him, "We are making fishsticks".
The next day the kid says, "Mom were you making fishsticks again?"
And she says "Why, yes, how did you know, honey?"
And the kid replies, "Well, you have a little tarter sauce on your mouth."
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language.
My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
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