A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte!
How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day? Cutting edge.
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.
Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop.
What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.