What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?
(A panda bear rolling down a hill!)
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Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid?
A: The wall maker set.
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
4-year-old: Why are you my dad?
Me: Because I made you.
4: How?
Me: ...
4: O.o
Me: ...
4: O.O
Me: With Legos.
A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.
The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped.
The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already
lived a wonderful and full life.
The boy replied, "You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"
What is a bunny's favorite music?
Hip-hop.
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.
The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.
The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.
The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. Australia's smartest woman took my schoolbag."
My wife is so negative.
I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch."
The teacher said "When its my break."
"Your break for what? the kid asks.
"My break up" the teacher said.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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