Fed up with your computer winning at chess? Try it at kick-boxing instead!
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.